|Publisher:||Daedalus V Collector Archives|
|Media type:||Virtual Reality|
Andromeda Unleashed was a Virtual Reality novel that appeared in "Time Out of Mind". Harper experienced it as himself in the Collector Archives on Daedalus V. Harper discovered that it was a very inaccurate portrayal of the Andromeda crew.
- Andromeda Ascendant Artificial Intelligence / Rommie -- the German dominatrix
- Beka Valentine -- the femme fatale love interest
- Dylan Hunt -- the decorated “Arnold Schwarzenegger” and “Superman” superhero
- Rev Bem -- not listed as he was a non-combat crew member
- Seamus Harper -- the comic relief
- Telemachus Rhade -- combined with Gaheris Rhade and Tyr Anasazi for the sidekick
- Trance Gemini -- the oracle who avoids vague propehcies and is the comic relief
- The novel is a parody of the stereotypes and stock characters found in science fiction.
- The novel is a parody of the "in-universe" novels that would be written about the Andromeda Ascendant if it was real.
(A German Rommie is giving a bemedalled Australian Hunt a chair massage.)
Rommie: You must relax. Your shoulders are like iron bars. Ze Commonwealth will wait until you complete your breathing exercises, ja?
Dylan: Breathing is for the other guys, mate. I've got the fate of three galaxies in my hands.
(Harper raises his hand and hits himself in the face with a large spanner.)
Dylan: You're right, Mister Harper. We need action, and plenty of it. (Stiletto heeled Beka Valentine enters.)
Dylan: Speaking of action.
Beka: I was hoping you could join me later this evening for some nice Korret bird steaks. (She sits on Dylan's lap.)
Beka: After you've quashed the tri-galaxy rebellion, of course. Hmm. Shiny. Let's say at about six?
(Dylan holds up his forcelance.)
Dylan: Well, actually, it's more like twelve, but I'll be there at five. (They kiss.)
Harper: Pause program. Eureka, that's what I say.
(Then he sees himself in a mirror. Fat, gap-toothed.)
Harper: Eek! I don't look like that. Ow! Resume program.
(Enter leather-clad Rhade with Tyr Anasazi's big gun and starts posing.)
Rhade: Captain, perhaps this isn't the right time or place, but if I may make a suggestion, what this ship really needs is a damn good cobbler.
Trance: Captain, a Pride of killer Nietzscheans is advancing on us, and I am very sure that we will die in three hours, seven minutes, and one second.
Harper: Oh, no! The mega-balega Tufis equalizer needs equalizing. Pause program. Who writes this crap? What am I, a goof? Pause program. End program. Eject. I said eject. Why won't it end?
Dylan: Pause program. Harper, it's time to go.
Harper: Yes, sir, yes, sir. I'm fizzing the popun yetsits on the holy bobber as fast as I can. It'll just take a jiffy to clean up the fitzny gutzen poppers.
Dylan: Harper, I really need to check you out of this program.
Harper: No more Weissbrau?
Harper: Oh, thank you. Thank you.